As an alternative to talking to myself, thinking to myself until I want to cry/hit something/someone i figure it's about time i made a blog. So here goes...
I guess I should introduce myself - i'm a nineteen year old girl - a student studying english literature. A lot of the time i love my life, and for these reasons (in no particular order):
- I love my friends - they're all incredible and i've never known a group of friends that laugh as much as we do.
- I'm really outgoing and confident which means meeting new people comes naturally to me and i love getting to know new people and having a laugh with new groups.
- I really enjoy uni life - again meeting new people, and my housemates are great.
- I'm in love with my amazing boyfriend and things are really perfect between us (99% of the time!).
But at times, i really feel awful about aspects of my life, and it's probably those aspects that it's going to be beneficial for me to write about. These aspects consist of:
- Primarily, my appearance - following my mum's statement that i 'look pregnant' and have 'put on so much weight recently' it has really occurred to me how horrible my figure is. I'm 5"11 and 13.5 stone. Despite being a size 12-14 in dresses, recently the fact that size 16 jeans are becoming tight is making me feel sick.
- Money - i am rubbish with it. Admittedly having a boyfriend that has been unemployed for the best part of 5 months has not helped with this issue - and me being the generous person that i am, i have been paying for meals out for us both on a regular basis, the occasional cinema trip, transport, alcohol on nights out etc. Additionally i have lent him £600 that i won't get back until the summer. I do not begrudge him at all, as he doesn't ask for anything. In fairness, i forced the money upon him when seeing him at desperate times.
-Uni - I have become extremely lazy, and it is so easy to miss lectures and i most certainly take advantage of this fact. I have sailed through with 2.1s and 2.2s without making much of an effort, and barely reading the texts set, and most certainly not doing much external research. I find it hard to focus when you have so many people around you, there's constantly something or someone to see/talk to and i find it hard to lock myself in my room and do my work. For this reason my assignments have mostly been completed the night before, with the occasional stretch to two days prior to the deadlines.
These three aspects are bringing me down, and i feel it's about time that i addressed them, and i feel that merely changing my attitude is not enough - so hopefully if people decide to follow this blog, i could really do with, and would appreciate support through this.
I guess there's my introduction, that's me.
The sad thing is that i could never let any of the people close to me read this, despite trusting them all with my life. This thought also upsets me.
Over and out.
